Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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