Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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