3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
