Your dad touched me again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
