I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
