somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
