Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
