i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
