wakey wakey hands off snakey
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
