If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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