Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hippo gnu deer
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
