she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
