AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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