i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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