Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
