kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He? As in you personified your dick?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
