You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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