i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
