i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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