she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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