We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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