took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
