Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
