um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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