I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
