So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
God, I missed his penis.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
