Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There r osticjed everywhere
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
