I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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