Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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