i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
