do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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