whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
