If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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