I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
