they need to just BURY HIM!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
