somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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