And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize