best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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