can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
