he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
