just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
