I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
