She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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