no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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