dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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