No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
