that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
