Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
