Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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