I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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