I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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